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guorong
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Monday, March 30, 2009
An Athlete's Pride
"i'm a high school player. i play with my friends and some of my enemies, but i respect everyone when it comes to my sport. i know that i'm not going to get a multi-million dollar contract to play professionallu. i know that i may not even get my name on the paper. i play for love of the game. for the pride and honor, for the blood, sweat and tears it takes to make the team, to earn the spot, to win the game. i play because i can. i play because i know my life would be empty without the sport i play. i would have a lack of everything my sport gives me .... integrity, courage, talent, fearlessness, pride, strength, stamina, will and the heart of a champion.
if i didnt play, i would lose a part of me. i'm an athlete. i'm a girl/boy. i'm a champion, not because my team always win, but because when we don't, we learn from our mistakes. we try to fix them, and most of all because we have fun.
i have built lifelong friendships and memories because of my being an athlete. i leave everything on the field or court and continue to push myself. i am never happy with second place, but i have learned to accept it. i have learnt to get over and through my anger, be the athlete and player i have always dreamed of being. i dont play for my parents, for my family, for my friends; i play for myself but when i'm playing, i represent them. it isn't about winning or losing, but i hate to lose. i won't settle for a tie, and i am not satisfied with 100%. to play, you have to sacrifice everything, your body, your sweat, blood, and tears, everything....for your team.
i am a player, and athlete, and a champion, not because i know what it is like to win, but because i know what it is like to lose. i know what it is like to feel the anger and pain that comes along with 'second best'. i have been that girl/boy with tears in his/her eyes, walking out to receive the second place trophy and clapping as the other team, my opponents, receive the first place one. i know what it is like to lose, to win, to want to quit, to want to cry, to not want to get up. i know wha it is like to hear the cheers and yells for you. i know what it is like to feel the pressure of everyone on your shoulders, and i know what it is like to choke under that pressure. i know what it means to be an athlete, a true player, and that's why i play. i am an athlete, a champion, a true player. "
and i know you out there, you're feeling just like this. you know it.
lets keep this going. no more 19 point fall.
-do your best and bravely face the consequences.
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Sunday, March 29, 2009
at this point in time, even before monday starts, i'm feeling overwhelmed by what's going to happen next week. but i'm gonna take them on, well afterall we have to.
announcement tomorrow morning, hope everything passes.
my weekend was well spent lazing the whole of 2 days. i didnt do much, but thats ok. alright, i have a lot to say, but tomorrow's going to be a long day, so i'm just going to sleep now and prep myself for collecting back results tomorrow.
don't just get by, don't waste your time.
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Saturday, March 28, 2009
physics was just like every physics paper i've done before. i think i'll pass. but i dont think i'll do that well. i swear it's exam stress, because i can come out of the hall knowing how to do but not knowing when during the 2 and half hours. -.-
anw, alicia says i shld post something happy. apart from the end of mcts, there really isnt a lot of things to be that happy about. rather, today was quite (u). first with the basketball match and training after that. i'm still losing at 19 points. and what mr loh said on the way back to school was really true, except that this time round, i'm in the picture too, and i think i'm very much in the picture. i desperately needs to get better, partly because weng loong gave for 20 dollars because he felt bad about my wife breaking. which he shouldnt have paid at all, but he insisted.
mcts are over but u know sometimes the end of something actually means more than just what it seems. it means that the chance has already gone by, be it wanting to do better or getting your desired grade as for in exams. i look at the seniors and for those who didnt reap what they expected, or to put it simple; those who didnt do well. thats it. theres no more going back and you would wish A levels were still there for you to take on. you think harder, it's quite intimidating. this whole thing of the 'final' exam.
training made me all spent as usual, which is how it should be. and i'm going off now, for my very deserved rest. ok, maybe not very because i didnt really feel i gave my all for mcts but certainly to some extent, i still deserve it!
and weehoe should just go buy 4D today, or are we really like what he said. whatever it is, it was great meeting him there, at the place where he just seems really right to be at; SBC.
theres still this shroud of basketball aura all around him, and i think it's not just me who can tell.
'' because i'm sure somebody out there is dying to be you. ''
you're good and you know it. so stop running in circles.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
it sucks a lot to not get what u really worked hard for.
as for what i'll get tomorrow, i cant say for sure.
overestimated maths and left everything to today. and it's pretty obvious what i've landed myself into.
oh no, not again..
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Monday, March 23, 2009
tiring.
thats like the only word on my mind after i completed econs just now. Having 2 papers in one day can really be very exhausting.
i went lol after i flipped over the GP essay qn because i dont see any poverty question and thats like the only thing i know about. i ended up doing 'what qualities make man human' and i dont know if i did it the way it should be or whether it was alright. but i guess my examples were good. ok, i HOPE they are, since they are quite recent. comprehension was um, alright; know how to do some, dont know how to do some.
econs, i studied everything but unemployment and it had to come out, as half of a question (there were 2 questions to answer) so i had to smoke my way through and it was bad. i really felt like biting myself because the other parts that i knew, i could do them, furthermore i had adequate time.
tomorrow's break because i have no papers on, then it'll be chem on wed, maths on thu, and physics on friday. then i'm done for mcts~
anw, something random.
me: u're getting fatter
charlene: -.-
me : okok, u are not getting fatter, u're still as fat.
c: -.- -.-
me: do u think u're fat?
c: no.
me: really ?
c: ya~
me: how do u tell if someone's fat?
c: by looking lah
me: can meh.
c: ya, k we name someone
me: damn mean la, but yeah.. ****** ??
c: of course fat la!
me: ** *** ?
c: uh, no, she's muscular.
me: oh.. woah ok. then lets pick someone off the streets.
c: no la, she's not fat
me: really meh.
c: k la, i think she is.
and so we started picking out people and man, we laughed so hard la. and she says i keep picking out fat people -.-
~i badly need to hand up scripts that are more than mediocre.
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ok so it's 11 now and i'm still not in the mood to revise my chem. i read alicia's blog just, the india post namely. it was fantastic, especially the sunflower plantation and all the fun they had. of course it got me super envious just like any other person chancing upon it will.
the song- the scientist by coldplay is really getting into me this few days. anw, i remembered i kept telling myself that 'this is mad, seriously' or something along the line these few days as i was revising my work. but then again, come to think of it, my life is already this mundane and stressful and the least i can do is to add on to it and i should really take things easy for while and just excite everything. shirleen's post about how we are missing out on all the little things in life set me thinking hard. and it should invoke the same feelings in you too, all those around me who have been just trying to cram everything into your lil head in all your time. hey, it's time to breathe a lil, and see more things because around you, there are a lot more that require your attention and you to see to rather than the chunk of notes before you.
so, when was the last time you really had a nice good talk with the one closest to you.
quoted from joy : stop running away, from the things you love, and the things that love you.
if you are thinking of leaving it to tomorrow, maybe i'll just give her/him a call tomorrow or when i'm free or during the weekends, think again. because tomorrow doesnt exist and you do not know whether it actually will.
but then again, i cant bring myself to.
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Friday, March 20, 2009
i guess it was a wrong decision to study in school today. i had a really bad headache after sportsxcel meeting, but still stayed on to read econs and i really regret doing so. it wasnt productive at all. it doesnt help that theres only 2 more days to start of MCTs and i'm only kind of done with chem.
my racket(wife) broke just now during training anww. (U)
and i never knew econs can be so dry and boring especially market structure. now i'm really re-considering whether to go down this route in the future.
i had a dream the other night and i almost cried. maybe it really does matter that much to me afterall.
失去了才懂得珍惜。
i need a really good rest and a really good wakeup. and i badly need to focus.
12 more trainings to nationals, do as you deem fit, if it still matters that much to you.
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
i told myself to make every shot and step during training count. and i guess that was what carried me through. focus on the present, u'll not go wrong.
half empty? half filled? you decide.
all of physics plus read maths and econs.
set up alarm to 9am. go guorong.
i'm really tired. night.
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
i was supposed to complete chemistry by tonight, and read 1 chapter of econs. but i couldnt make it, as usual. i think i really need to sit down, with the com off, without songs playing, just the piercing silence alone and revise.
and i need to wake up when i need to rather than laze in bed and waste another 2 hours.
anw, i did manage to run. it didnt feel long to me, i guess it was because i wasnt running just for the sake of running. i was running to get to places. and it was cool. i ran to interchange to top up my card, then dropped by sports hall. i didnt see much badminton though. then i took a different route and i went to visit my kindergarten. it changed so much, and that long stretch of coridor suddenly felt so short. i guess i'm all grown up now, we all are. nevertheless, it felt good to be back, to just stand there and let the sense of nostalgia creep in. i could still vividly remember all the funny/wonderful things that happened; the first day of school when i cried and refuse to get in, etc.
everything's just gonna get better and be fine. i'm leaving tomorrow's worrries to tomorrow and just shut out from the world for the time being.
wait, but tomorrow's here.
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
5 ways to relax better!
Be a better breather. "When you make a conscious effort to breathe deeper, it naturally brings your body back to a more relaxed state," explains Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Stress Free for Good (HarperOne). Place your hand on your stomach and watch it rise as you inhale for a count of 3 or 4; hold your breath for the same count, and then exhale for as long as comfortable and watch your belly fall.Look forward to something. Each morning, think about one little, enjoyable thing you plan to do that day (the crossword puzzle) and one bigger pleasure on the horizon (your trip to the mountains), suggests Allen Elkin, Ph.D., director of the Stress Management and Counseling Center in New York City. This ritual trains your brain to focus away from what can go wrong that day.
Make a small change to your routine. "Unpredictable events can cause the most stress," Luskin explains. "If you cultivate even a little bit of surprise in your life, it helps keep your cognitive responses flexible and helps you handle whatever life throws your way." Take a new cardio class or pick a cuisine you've never tried. (Hallå, Scandinavian!)
Convert Monday into Funday. The flip side to TGIF is OMGIM: Oh, my God, it's Monday! In fact, more heart attacks occur on Mondays than on any other day. Schedule a weekly lunch with a friend or take a class you love on Mondays so you'll look forward to the start of the week, Dr. Wheeler advises.
Come home 15 minutes late. After work, walk home or listen to music at a pretty scenic spot before you burst through your front door. "Don't look at it as a waste of time," Dr. Wheeler says. "It's an important way of decompressing and transitioning back to home life."
. . .
Monday, March 16, 2009
the raining killed the day.
i made up my mind not to sleep half my march break away, and the raining totally made me think otherwise. i woke up, but everything was just persuading me to go back and snooze on, the bed, the weather, the lighting, the fan, everything.
went for training. it's hard to tell whats wrong, because nothing really seems that right. everything's just screaming at me to let go. it's hard but i will press on. well, i have to.
i walked past the patch of grass beside the playground just beside the lift to my block. it was where everything began. but it really seems so small now, the area. and it's amazing to think of how i used to play badminton here. hitting back monotonous lobs to my dad which went on like forever and i still won't get sick of it.
and it's so sad to see that i'm not enjoying it as much as i should be. it's ending soon, and i hope it'll end off just like how it started. with a smile.
- i dont need your affirmation, i dont need the shouts. afterall, no one will be there forever. i'll count on myself because your own self will be the most important and reliable support you can ever have. it will never fail you, unless you choose it to. you dont have to shout for me, just let me know you're with me.
'hope is the most important capital, because it will never go away unless you choose it to'
E: i think if i were to take badminton out of your life now, you prolly wun survive'
G: let me think bout it..
G: yeah, i prolly wun.
go guorong. go weng loong.
. . .
i'm undecided. but all these is just coming way too fast.
it's hard to imagine how uni life will be, and how working, really working will be like. i'm still at the stage where everything seem interesting but nth seems interesting. it's funny how we want to grow up fast so badly when we're young, and how we dont want everything to whizz by so quickly when we're old.
it's getting me everywhere, it's getting me nowhere.
. . .
Friday, March 13, 2009
i know this should not be the way, but i'm not enjoying it at all. it is so frustrating to watch us lose in close games, and to have to watch so many at one go. i lost my game, it was close in the second set and i was so disappointed because i knew all it takes was just a bit more of something.
something which all of us lacked. yes, you fought, u made it to 19 points, u made it to rubber set, so what. the game doesnt end at 19, you don't win at 19 point, you cant win a match just winning a set. but i simply dont understand what is this that we need to work at, to get ourselves to just go for that bit more. it's repeating over and over again. you go in, drop the first set or first few points, then fight back, but only to falter when it nears the end. but all that we are doing throughout, isnt it to reach 21 ultimately?
it's disappointing and frustrating to watch everyone go down, and have to be part of it too. i dont know what to do for you, because i know talk is cheap, and if i cant even do it myself, i dont know how to you'll be able to get inspired and whatsoever if thats what u want.
talk is really cheap.. but it's really so easy.
we need to fight harder and last the whole game. i dont know what to say, but i know we are not there yet. and it's so heartbreaking to see us go down during friendlies and matches. but then, maybe that really is what we deserve. it's 18 trainings more, but how we should see it, should be that, it's 44 more days because it shouldnt be only during training, that we prepare ourselves for this final struggle. it's every day and every moment. then again, the ounus is on you. if you think we're that good, sit down and think again. i won't say i'm good and prepared, because i really aint and i know that. i dont think you are too, but i dont know if you know that.
this week's been tough. i had badminton every day of the week and there was temasek ignite to work on, as well as school work. i'm not looking forward towards MCT too. a week to study everything, it's simply lol. the week has been a bad rollercoaster ride, i pulled through but i dont think i did it well enough. i missed many things, and many things missed me too but i guess it really didnt matter much.
i'm so tired. but i cant give it up. sometimes i really wonder why i have so much on hand, and i think ultimately, it's my own bad. 'i dont want to do, but i dont want to let you do' i should learn to give up some things. but then again, maybe you should learn to offer some help instead of just meddling around in your own affairs. afterall, come to think of it, you got to play a part too.
reading broader perspective helped me quite a lot. especially the faith and hope articles but i guess i was too caught up and overwhelmed with all the issues that i didnt manage to grab hold of them.
i have a lot on my mind and a lot of decisions to make.
i dont feel worthy and theres nothing much i have to offer.
it's april, and i have no idea what path i want to choose, i dont want it to turn out to be that i have to queue and get chosen again.
and theres the other large part of my life, maybe it's just me and my elusive goal and overdrawn expectation. maybe it's just me being too serious about this whole thing. maybe i'm even alone battling the current. maybe i'm simply too discouraging.
but we're going against the wind, and we arent going strong.
'past successes and failures assure that hope is not for nought' but it's time to forget about past successes. i'm proud of it, but the same thing wont happen for a second time too easily.
i saw something off shirleen's blog, it's so motivating. i like shirleen's blog, because the posts always give a strong melancholy effect, the type of bitterness that gives you a shiver deep within, and the way it makes you cringe.
off shirleen's post:
Spring is coming soon:please: i know these winter days go on and on and on but know, spring is coming soon. spring is tempting us, sometimes, with spots of heat to warm our cold limbs, melts the snow away until night falls and the snow storms blow through, but never fear. no, wake up and breathe the fearless changing air. and please: believe in beautiful things. believe in the sun coming up, believe in a warm hand, believe in the future and believe in this very second. things are horrible, things are cold, but you are alive and living and breathing and constantly changing. and everytime the air feels stale, please, remember to breathe: continue the cycle of feeding the trees and keeping your heart going. because what else is there to do but continue? please. believe in good hearts. believe in your own good heart, strong and beating, restless and sound; believe in the rest of humanity, thousands and thousands and thousands of tiny heartbeats and sets of lungs slowly rising and falling. this life, it hurts sometimes, and you cry to sleep and you wake up heavy-hearted but remember: the earth does not stop. your heart keeps going and your limbs keep moving and you sleep it off, you wake up new, and you face the day with eager, shining eyes, and you love with a full, full heart. -You Are Remarkable
i love your empathy. it's heartwarming.
. . .
Thursday, March 12, 2009
FREAKING FIGHT AND WORK HARDER, BECAUSE THIS MATTERS HELL LOT TO ME DAMNIT.
. . .
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
-we often excuse each other when our friends exclaim that 'they cannot take it anymore' even though we know they can and that it is probably worth it if they do.
. . .
-the world today demands that we continue to hope despite reality screaming at us to stop
. . .
Sunday, March 08, 2009
A levels release of results got me quite worried for the big exam. 1 more year and it'll be my turn in the hall collecting results of the possibly biggest exam. it'll determine where i go from there and this time round, it's really make or break. i don't wanna be one of those who regretted only after they get their results, or those who had to leave once they got their results for fear of being caught tearing.
but what i know is that, i'm not prepared for it yet. and thats why i'm really starting to realise how much more i got to buck up.
of course gratz to those who did well, like michelle, sarah and ZIE WERN. he got 8 DISTINCTIONS.
anw, the weekend has been disappointing yet again, with the usual waking up late, which is slowly or already becoming a routine.
it's going to be the start of the week in another 8 minutes and i really have to go now, though i have so much more to tell and put down. but i'll keep it short down here. i wanna talk about shirleen's empathy and how she impressed me that night by going forth to the blind without hesitation to offer help.
and how i was so afraid of getting back my chinese results. i guess i still cant get over what happened during Os. i got my A anw. i think i deserved it too. :)
pilot pen's tmr and i'm starting with my singles first. if u want a point, u'll have to get it off me and i tell you, it won't be easy.
fight, tj.
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ME
GuoRong
AHS
19/11/91
LINKS
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