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guorong
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Sunday, August 30, 2009
today, i felt like i was swimming in a ocean bigger than ever. the enormity of it leaves me helpless sometimes and i gotta be brave.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."
. . .
lost in this winded mess.
. . .
Saturday, August 29, 2009
tug at my heartstrings.
happy birthday ck and daryl.
. . .
Monday, August 24, 2009
i'll let you work your magic. please do it well.
. . .
pissed and angry.
. . .
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i dont know how and when it happened but it just did.
i was just beginning to like the feeling of the specs on me when,
i found my specs broken one day
and the lady said she cant do anything about it.
so it's just waiting to go, and as much as it pricks me bad, it'll never be good again
and theres nothing i can do about it.
so it's just waiting to go.
so i'm just waiting for it to go and it'll never be good again.
10 million things undone and i dont wanna appear in school tomorrow to face the horrible scenes that never seem to stop.
'i'm so tired but i cant give up'
still useful and applicable after 2 years. but, no deja vu please.
. . .
Saturday, August 22, 2009
one more week it has been. as crazy as ever, and most importantly, as fast as ever. i still remember what we were all up to this time of last week. i remember the things we did from monday to today. time really flies. i'm excited but at the same time worried and not eager for time to go so fast. i dont know what we will turn out to be 1 month from now, i'm afraid to know too.
thank you auntie for having us over today to catch Armageddon. it was a good breakaway from school. half of me didnt feel like going, but i'm glad i went anyway. i need to catch up on sleep. so here's a really short one before i turn in.
wendesday letters's ending soon and it makes me want to write wednesdays letters too. figured that i wasnt too good with words. i cant seem to find the right words to say sometimes, to tell you how important you are, how lovely you are, how much i appreciate you, how i never mean the things i say sometimes, how i..
because you all are what's keeping me sane and insane at the same time. it's the same way i hate and love you all at the same time.
i'll write one when it comes, when that really is it.
today i learn to look at the brighter side. that maybe everything is already good enough. that i should be thankful for everything. that everything will turn out fine if you can see it. that maybe it's good that it's happening only now instead of last year. that my boys should count themselves lucky. that i should just let go if i'm not up to it. that i'm so afraid to lose anyone of you. that i dont wanna miss a thing.
Armageddon made me choke inside. i haven't watch it for so long. the song totally fits the
show and the show really is good. and i wanna start doing things i've never done before.
'happy endings come in different packages'
the irony of it all is awfully demanding.
Dont wanna miss a thing
I could stay awake
just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleepin
While your far away and dreamin
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
When every moment I spend with you
Is a moment I treasure
Dont wanna close my eyes
I dont wanna fall asleep
Cause I'll miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Cause Even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And am wondering what your dreamin
Wonderin if it's me your seein
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank god were together
And I just want to stay with you
In this moment forever
Forever and ever
Dont wanna close my eyes
I dont wanna fall asleep
Cause I'll miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Cause Even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
A dont wanna miss one smile
I dont wanna miss one kiss
[ Aerosmith Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
But I just wanna be with you
Right here with you just like this
And I just wanna hold you close
Fell your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Yeah Yeah Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Dont wanna close my eyes
I dont wanna fall asleep
Cause I'll miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Cause Even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Dont wanna close my eyes
I dont wanna fall asleep
Cause I'll miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Cause Even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I dont wanna miss a thing
Dont wanna close my eyes
I dont wanna fall asleep
I dont wanna miss a thing
. . .
Friday, August 21, 2009
'thats not included in the package, i'm sorry'
i'm going to treat you as though tomorrow will be the last i'll see of you. i'll treat you like a queen, treat you like a king.
nothing comes easy, nothing comes close and it is important to mean what you say.
please get well soon zongyang. you're scaring all of us.
. . .
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Oh no, I see,
A spiderweb, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm.
[ Coldplay Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble,
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.
. . .
mrs L smacked auntie's butt 3 times after pinching it once ytd. auntie's on a streak (Y)
we have a new burp queen who is the best friend of our one and only fart queen. pollution. jerald and i are both troubled over the '2-pronged' attack of the 2 of them. but now, they make even more of best of friends. it was shit funny and i just had to write it down.
'sausage mc-muff-brrrrr!' in my face (Y)
ok, tired. gotta sleep and prepare myself for the next 10 million things tmr.
every second you're upset is a second of happiness you'll never get back. i need to look for my laugh/smile inducers too.
. . .
Monday, August 17, 2009
it's hard when everyone wants a piece of you.
do you know what the half-half feeling is all about.
oh ya, it's called a dilemma.
. . .
Sunday, August 16, 2009
so just like you would have guessed, today wasnt really productive at all. i fell asleep in the afternoon, it was raining though, does that shift a lil more blame away from me.
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with n
Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep
watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. "
the irony of it all is a double-edged sword. it stabs not just once, but twice.
btw, do you know that my mum is a career woman?
i'm her career.
. . .
Saturday, August 15, 2009
courage comes when circumstances call for it.
when i aint, it's because i cant be.
it's class birthday today and we caught where got ghost.
this is like the 7th consecutive friday we've been out.
mr DC and bojun joined our ' no.. mrs L! no...' league.
it's almost 2.
just last week, we were celebrating bojun's birthday and now it's another week gone. :(
'hold on to the things that make you smile' coincidentally they make me sad too, or rather the lack of it does.
i cant make nothing out of something and yet you could make something out of nothing. what else can i say.
i'll wake up early tomorrow and study properly.
. . .
Thursday, August 13, 2009
relapse.
it takes a lot to.
. . .
totally ANGSTY.
have you ever felt so sick and pissed off that you spent so much work on something but you cant get it.
that you thought finally you can sleep earlier and that tomorrow will be better with that much more sleep, but you end up looking for 2 stacks of stupid maths paper which you need to READ for a test tomorrow. and it's not like it's going to be super effective. it's all part of the placebo effect and i'm doing it even though i know it's just placebo effect that's acting. and that it doesnt really help. but f, now it took up so much time that i'm sleeping later than usual and i dont think tomorrow will be any better than today. btw, today wasnt well too.
what in the world is the world coming to. oh my world.
i feel like swearing a million times over, right now. i'm so angry, with everything.
nothing's helping. this is going nowhere. i know i must stop being a wimp and go on whining about how sorry or how f-up everything is. and i know how much i need and should and must move on and stop living in history pretending everything will go back to how it used to be.
'how it used to be' is too overused. it never really did come true for the other 1938409183419 times i said that or wished that.
this is going nowhere. have i said that alr. f. i dont really care if i did. it really is going nowhere. i'll bite you if you talk to me now. i'm serious. luckily everyone's asleep or mugging their asses off while i'm sitting in front of the screen typing my precious sleep time away hoping the next person who sees this other than me will know that i'm not in the very best of mood and not piss me further although the only way now is to appear in my dreams later on and screw things up. or unless you call me and wake me up and go something like, ' guorong, hello.' i swear i'll steal your phone tomorrow.
i dont know what the hell i'm typing but i think it's making me feel a tad better just blabberring nonsense like how the world or everything is talking to me now.
i never thought elisa's words will be this true. A levels is driving everyone mad. (i dont care if it's not everyone and it's just me and that i'm stereotyping if you beg to differ after reading that)
i'm sick of saying, 'tomorrow will be better', ' we'll make it.'
tomorrow will still suck and we'll still be where we are tomorrow. truth is, we all have ourselves to blame. ok. I have MYSELF to blame for all these.
p.s i hope reversing things will help.
. . .
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
i wanna scream at the top of my lungs.
. . .
Monday, August 10, 2009
i'm so tired from my super exciting national day ever. 24 hours ago, i was spending time with 2 of my best friends doing everything else but maths. 24 hours before that, the thought of staying out the next day never even did cross my mind. it was a pleasant surprise for all of us anyway that auntie allowed auntie to stay out.
best national day ever and now i really think it's high time to start giving all i've got. i'm so afraid it'll be deja vu, from 2 years back. i never ever wanna go through that again.
we'll make it. we'll make it. we'll make it.
on a side note, blueberry is just so retardedly smile-inducing that a part of me wished i hadnt gave it away. i hope it'll make your day every now and then!
(y)
. . .
Sunday, August 09, 2009
i like westlife songs so much. they aren't that fantastic and you might say they are boring, but i guess it's the way they hv been there ever since i was pri 5. they give me a sense of nostalgia nothing can offer. it's just something you need to go through yourself to understand.
Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place?
I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway.. I guess it's over
CHORUS:
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought the love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
[ Westlife Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances
To show you how much i care
I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway, i guess it's over
i never realise the lyrics were that short. i thought they only repeat. ok which kinda means short too. so anw, they make me wanna cry and smile at the same time. it's a puzzling feeling that makes me wanna go to sleeep. or is it just me feeling tired now.
Get a load of me get a load of you
Walkin down the street
And I hardly know you
(Hardly know you)
It's just like we were meant to be...
Holding hands with you
When we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say
It isn't right
(Isn't right...)
And I've got someone waiting
Too
What if this is just the beginning?
We're already wet and we're
Gonna go swimming?
[Chorus]:
Why can't I breathe
Whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak
Whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable
It's the fact and we're
Gonna get down to it...
So tell me, why can't I breathe
Whenever I think about you?
(Whenever I think about you)
(Whenever I think about you)
(Whenever I think about you)
(Whenever I think about you)
Isn't this the best part of
Breaking up
[ Liz Phair Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Finding someone else you
Can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too?
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
(But wouldn't it, but wouldn't it)
But wouldn't it be beautiful?
Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't f*ck*ed yet,
But my heads spinning.
Why can't I breathe
Whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak
Whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable
It's the fact and we're
Gonna get down to it...
So tell me, why can't I
Breathe whenever I think about you?
I love for you to make me wonder,
Where it's going...
I love for you to pull me under
Somethings growing
Out of this that we can't control...
Baby I'm dyyyying...
(Why can't I breathe
Whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak
Whenever I talk about you?)
this is good too.
ok, i think i need to stop running away.
. . .
Friday, August 07, 2009
i'm so glad i didnt miss school today because it almost didnt feel like it was school and that we were in year 2 alr. had so much fun celebrating national day, singing along, going crazy, doing stupid things, lotsa photos, orientation fever, chalking, getting freaking molested AGAIN.
so it didnt really matter that there wasnt a concert put up. the singalong session went well with my crazy classmates. i think no one really did regret coming today although we only had an econs lecture. but whoever said it will be a waste of time, must be biting himself/herself now after hearing the fun we had.
i shan't go into the details, because so many things happened today. killer stares, sins, my poor butt, bojun's birthday and his crumpler, cchen, cc-dian, couple shirt with you-know-who, and all the madness during the singalong (leo club girl especially, i swear you all hit me like a few hundred times over.)
i think today's the best day i've had for weeks. i wish everyday can be like that. but for now, let me just bask in it before the monotony of normal school life comes haunting. i'm so tired from everything from the week. but i am so glad the week ended like this. it was heartwarming to see the class (or most of us) come together like this and behave stupidly, past caring about everything.
happy birthday bojun.
. . .
Here's another pity
There's another chance
You tried to learn a lesson
But you can't
If we could burn a city
In futures and in past
Without a change our lives will never last
We're going fast
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
We don't need our bags
And we can just leave town
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
What can we do better?
When will we know how?
A man says from the sidewalk to the crowd
If we can change the weather
If you wanted to yourself
Well if you can't
I guess we all need help
[ The All American Rejects Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I need help
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
We don't need our bags
And we can just leave town
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
We say,
We do,
The lies, the truth
And all I need is next to me
We're going fast
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
You be the queen, and I'll be your clown
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
You can sit beside me when the world comes
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
. . .
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
it's a sore deep deep down that acts up time and again that i'm trying to fight.
trying to do the things i have to do during school has been tough. i fought to do that extra bit each time i felt like it, understanding it a lil more rather than just taking it down and putting it on hold, falling asleep during econs lecture and not take down things. it's scary that even calum is saying that prelims are 1 month away. i hope i dont sound like CC all through this post. but, if i do, you can disown me if you want.
i like how my trophies and medals shine in front of me when i watch tv. it reminds me that i should never give things up and leave things to fate, and that nothing really is impossible. it reminds me of all the sucky trainings, monotonous drills, smashing like my arm will swing off, running like my feet arent there, gasping for air like i'm drowning. actually i really was, just that i didnt show and noone could see.
and all the breakdowns and sitdowns all around school in the still of the night at 8pm when i just needed some time alone to sort things out. those times were those that i wished i never had to leave; the lying down on track spread eaglewinged under the starry sky. it felt almost like fiction and that it will be awesome if time could just hold still there and then.
ok, so the whole load was just trying to mean the agony i went through which i think no one could have imagined. (it's the same how i'll never be able to understand the shit that you-who-is-reading is going through and had gone through) and that i pulled through and i got what i wanted. there werent anything that was really sweet to it apart from the attention poured onto us at the end of the match, the phototaking on the podium feeling like stars for once. perhaps the sweetest to it was how i had someone with me when things were going a bit crazy and unbearable.
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Keep holding on
Keep holding on
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
i really almost teared you know. inside me, you should have seen.
one day i'll let you have a look again and you'll never believe you ever did such a thing.
i've been long trying to get what all this mean, because i never really believed in coincidences. perhaps accidents they were but i need to find that little bit of meaning to it however little it might be.
the way coincidences unfold right under my nose invokes in me an awestruckingly sense of surprise. like what happened just now when i was just going home. it's prolly the best episode of CChen of today. you remind me to tell you bout it lest i forget. for a moment i really thought it was so, and when it didnt turn out to be so, i was oddly disappointed yet amazed at the same time on how things worked. that it was so near yet so far away, like the same way a lot of other things have been. i'm sure you've been through quite a couple yourself too.
so today i decided to have macs with the macs people. and i had a mcspicy. that was really stupid of me and i thought it will help. turns out that it didnt, but the whole idea of going to macs did. i was crazily blabbering nonsense to samuel and ck all the way, and pissing off charlene and threw a fries at her which luckily she didnt get mad for. i made charlene say that she hates me, in the same way lynnete told me the other time. that made me think about whats up with me and band people. initially i only thought i had something with percussionists, vanessa, lynette, samuel.. now it seems like bandsters are all creeps.
so the whole crazy thing didnt stopped till we got back to school for lecture where i fell asleep quite often. i hope i did absorb something though. oligopoly, elasticy... um.. ok thats about it i think -.-
ok so anw, i'm glad i turned back to the library after i decided to leave. at the very least, i managed to borrow this book highly recommended, which i dont regret having done so. now i think i know how you felt. empathy and sensitivity at work! crap, i make such a good lit student actually you know. ok,i think you do know, but just that you dont believe right. ...
ok, that was a good and long post after so long and it's back to doing the things i have to do, like dinner and regression and chem and a lil bit of reading.
sometimes, the hardest things and right things are the same. i need to get that on paper somewhere to jolt me back whenever i'm doing everything else in school. but then again, who says what is right.. now thats something to think about. i'm looking forward to the long weekend, (ok, it's only 3 days, but with 3 weeks of stuff to do) because i think i'll end up productive. positive thinking, now thats a good start. good job gr.
oh and our dearest auntie is sick, again or still. ya, and doc says she has influenza symptoms. i called her up just now and we talked for like 15 minutes bout giving her a grand burial, plan how to get her giant down, or her 'sister' down with her, how to inherit her parents and money, to write up a will but in the end became in the diary because too troublesome to go draw one up. and a whole bunch of nonsense. ok but we were both just FON k, in auntie's dad words. auntie, please dont die. i think the slapping of our mouths worked. because i made it home safely and didnt get knocked down by a car while talking to her and crossing the road at the same time. (i thought karma will hit me there and then like always)
ok, i really need to go and do the right things alr.
i wish we were like that too, not exactly, but somewhat similar, will be super.
ex-girlfriends leave you, best friends stay with you forever. fiction, not?
to 800 and i hope you'll remember me with all the fondness of the things we used to do together.
i'm funny too in a different way. the uncultured way in my friend.'s words.
now go study/sleep after you're done with this wonderful post, whoever you are.
. . .
i've been watching a lot of The Nanny on hallmark. it never fails to take my mind off everything thrown at me for that one hour. i dont have much to post for today too. oh except that i got a really pretty and thoughful card that brightened things up.
then bojun and huimin tagteam for performing our childhood favorite cartoon themesongs was so awesome that we all unanimously think that they should perform for teachers' day or children's day or national day. whatever day it is, everyone will just burst out watching them do their spastic moves. my classmates (y)
we need to keep a part of childhood with us.
i'm going back to the start. i'm trying to take everything easy.
go to school, irritate some people, laugh it off, patch up, then irritate them again. but some people cant take jokes and they get me so pissed when i tried to piss them off. if they really are joking, then i gotta hand it to them. i see not the slightest indication of you taking the joke well and just have some fun together. my classmate (N)
keep the things important to you, close to your heart.
it's those who mean the things they say and do the things they promise. awesome like, totally~
. . .
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
the things you want to do and the things you have to do. content is when you want to do the things you have to do. but that hardly happens.
ok, blogger is back to normal. but i'm back to normal too. so i dont have time to post whatever i wanted because i need the time to sleep.
i saw this on tvmobile,
life is simple, it just isnt easy. woah, i totally agree.
but, why so serious?
. . .
Saturday, August 01, 2009
tonight, i'm wishing for something new and i'll wish for it till it comes true.
. . .
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ME
GuoRong
AHS
19/11/91
LINKS
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